Bella: Danger Magnet Alert!
by Tail writer
Summary: Written for Eowyn77's Bella Danger Magnet challenge. The challenge: write a non-supernatural threat to Bella's health. Bella discovers that PE in Forks is worse than expected... based on my personal experience. T because I am one. R&R appreciated!
1. Day 1 Badminton

Bella- Danger Magnet

Bella- Danger Magnet Alert!

_Ugh. PE. __**Why**__ did I have to move to the one place where PE is a 4 year required subject? I'm hopeless at it! Seriously, once they see what happens when I come within 5 feet of a ball, they're certain to take action, if not for me, at least for the sake's of everyone else. _

_A: Boy am I glad that Edward can't read Bella's thoughts. He hearing what will happen today in PE is bad enough... Don't need to make him worry more than he already does… OK, I need to change songs... Ah. "Bye Bye Bye" is guaranteed to keep him away!_

Coach Clapp: "Ok, class, today we are going to be playing Badminton! (**an: I know SM did a Badminton chapter on the Twilight outtakes, but since this is based on my personal experience, I'm putting this in here, because that's how it happened.) **So grab a racket and a birdie and find 4 people to team up with!"

I ended up partnered with Mike, Jessica and Angela. Angela decided to stick on my side of the net, to help me out if things got too rowdy. She knows me well, especially when it comes to PE. If anything is within a 5-foot radius of me. I'm bound to get hit. I'm extremely liable to get hit when it comes to basketball- I've been hit every year in the head by one since kindergarten.

Badminton seemed pretty safe, though; no large, bouncy balls that could hit me and all I would really have to dodge would be the rackets- a feat easily accomplished.

The game went rather slowly, as whenever it was my turn to serve or get the birdie to the other team, I would drop it or miss completely, making it necessary for me to run after it. I think I was running after the birdie more times than Angela and I ended up hitting it!

Now it was about halfway through the game, and both Angela and I had gotten the hang of it; whenever the birdie would go near her "territory" in the back, she would get it, and I was responsible for getting the birdie when it was near the net.

Suddenly, the birdie was hurtling over the net towards me, and I reached backwards to try to hit it before it went into Angela's turf. Instead of the satisfying _thwack _of the racket contacting the birdie, however, I was painfully surprised to find a quick and direct hit from Angela's racket to my forehead. It seems that Angela was thinking that it was heading towards me at the same moment that I reached backwards, which inadvertently placed me in her space.

Shaking off the headache, I returned to the game, just as Coach called time. All we had to do now was run, and we were done for the day. I just stayed safely in the middle of the group, sandwiched between a concerned and profusely apologizing Angela, and a beaming, (but rather smelly) Mike Newton. _As long as I stuck between these two, I would be safe,_ I thought to myself, and the prediction came true, because the rest of the day was uneventful.

_At least I will only have one bruise to show to Edward this week_. If only I had known what was in store for the rest of the school week, I wouldn't have been so optimistic.


	2. Day 2: Volleyball, Chicken Wing Style!

**NOTICE TO EVERYONE!**

**Not everyone has read Breaking Dawn, myself included. I know for a fact that people in the UK won't even get it released until later on in the week. So PLEASE, hold off on your spoilers and re-edits of Breaking Dawn until everyone has had a chance to read it. My excitement has already been ruined by a few people's fanfiction summaries, and I really would not want to have to boycott fanfiction until I get my book on Monday.**

**I am BEGGING YOU. PLEASE DON'T SPOIL IT FOR THE REST OF US. And if you ARE going to make something out of Breaking Dawn, USE THE WORDS "SPOILERS!" in your summary!! And please don't tell anything about BD'S plot in your summary!**

**Ok, my rant is over. Next chapter is COMING UP!**

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**Keep in mind that whatever happens to Bella, happened to me- including the nickname. ;) **

**Enjoy!**

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The next day, Coach told us that we would be playing basketball. I groaned, knowing that I would no doubt end up getting hit in the head. As the game progressed, however, it seemed that I would miss my quota for the year, but right after this flashed through my mind, a basketball- seemingly appearing out of nowhere, arched over the surrounding players' heads and landed directly on the top of my head! _Met my quota for this year,_ I thought to myself.

After a short break, Coach Clapp put out the volleyball nets. _Great, something ELSE to hit me in the head! _After a very quick game, which I survived unscathed, I practiced passing and serving with two of my other classmates who were kind enough to let me join- clumsiness and all.

And, of course, there's always my unique way of serving; back in Phoenix, I had gotten the nickname "Chicken Wing" for my interesting serve.

You see, since I can't seem to serve the ball the way everyone else does, I end up slightly tossing the ball up in the air, and quickly hitting it with my bent arm, near the elbow when it's in a "chicken wing". I can actually aim with this strange shot, and I always get to have a good laugh at the people who try to mimic me. Only I, Bella Swan, can successfully pull the "Chicken wing shot" off. And _believe me,_ people have tried!

I was actually getting quite goodat getting the ball over the net almost every time, when- yep, I got hit _again _in the head by a ball, bringing up my total to 3 in 2 days, if you count the racket.

This time was not as bad as before, seeing as how the ball was a little flat and it had slowed down a lot before it got to me, since I was a bit shorter than everyone else. And no headache this time, either, luckily. All I wanted was another trip to the nurse's office!

_Alice must be having a field day with my clumsiness! I'm glad __**Emmett **__can't see this; I would get no end of teasing from him. Maybe by tomorrow the class will have forgotten my mistakes and won't be thinking about it. All I need is Edward getting more overprotective!_

**"BELLA!! ARE YOU OKAY??"** Great, now Mike Newton was going to be the overprotective worrywart. That's _all_ I need!

"Yes, Mike, I'm _fine_. It doesn't even sting. Get back to your game, it's your serve and your team is waiting for you!"

_Now maybe he'll leave me alone. But I think my chance of Edward not knowing what would happen just went out the window. And Alice will no doubt be telling me what will happen at PE tomorrow when she quizzes me at lunch then. Or maybe she won't, you can never tell with her..._

"**BELLA!! It's YOUR SERVE!"** Thanks, Mike, I think I already knew that. _Now just get back to your __own game._

I quickly served the ball over the net- thankfully it went over this time and I didn't have to retrieve it-when Coach's voice boomed out.

"CLASS, PUT THE BALLS UP! Newton and Cheney, PUT THE NETS DOWN! CLASS DISMISSED!

Wonderful. Another day done, another head shot. I couldn't _wait _to see what tomorrow was going to bring. Hopefully it wasn't another badminton racket.

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**So what did you think? Review please! I know people are reading this, I want some feedback! No, I won't hold chapters hostage or anything, I just want to improve my writing, but I can't do that if I don't get reviews. The next chapter should come fairly soon, possibly by tonight. But probably not tomorrow, since I'll be reading Breaking Dawn!**


	3. Day 3, part 1: Soccer & Bella means Doom

**Disclaimer: If I were Stephenie Meyer, I wouldn't be writing FANfiction, now, would I?**

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**Thanks for sticking with me! Here's a big shoutout to all my overseas readers! :D School started this past week, and I went through 4 different schedules before they finally left mine alone... Sorry it took so long to update! I'm splitting this chapter into 2 parts-one for each sport- mainly because I wanted to update and not leave y'all hanging, and partly because I may or may not be able to update later in the week, depending on if Hurricane Gustav pays a visit to Houston...so without further ado- the long awaited Chapter 3! **

**(Doesn't look like Gustav is hitting us. Poor Louisiana! So you may have an update sooner than I thought!) This is the edited version of Ch3- thanks to my beta!!**

Today was Wednesday. That meant the week was halfway over, the year almost through, and the end of PE for the school year was also quickly approaching. Thank goodness for that! I don't think I could take much more if the beginning of the week was anything to go by.

Honestly, I didn't see _how _people in Forks survived through 4 years of PE. There had to have been other unfortunate, clumsy souls before myself. I couldn't have been the only one cursed by PE. But it would be just like me, Bella the Danger Magnet, to go in the record books as Forks High's most clumsy student… I could already envision the award. I shuddered at the thought, and focused back on the game playing out in front of me.

Today we were playing soccer. An easy enough sport- it didn't require much, if any, hand-eye coordination, but just "eye-foot" coordination- something I decidedly lacked. Shoot, when I would go to the doctor's when I was younger, and the doctor would tell me to walk one foot in front of the other, I would trip. It wasn't even 10 steps to the wall, and I had failed a simple balance test!

Luckily, my team had the two Central American transfer students, and we were virtually unbeatable when joined by the PE class's star athlete, Alex. Arthur, the Guatemalan, wouldn't even play with his shoes on, but barefoot. His excuse was that "they kick harder in Guatemala." I just thought it was a guy macho thing. Although he was _really _good, he didn't speak English very well, so the other ESL student from El Salvador had to translate Coach Clapp's instructions to him to make sure we didn't get in trouble for kicking the ball too hard. With the guys all chasing after the soccer ball, it was quite easy to avoid actually coming into contact with it, because the male portion of the class was virtually on top of each other, trying to outdo one another.

As the ball whizzed over my head, I realized that having Arthur and Jose on our team might not be a good thing, if I had any hope of avoiding getting hit. They all three had a habit of kicking the ball up high in the air and getting it to land in front of the person they were passing to. It was a good way of passing without risking interception, but also not too healthy if you value your skull. I had gotten more than enough lectures from Carlisle about the dangers of heading the ball-intentional or not, the move was responsible for _many _concussions suffered by soccer players, pro or amateur.

Ah, I was distracted again! If I kept this up, I would never be able to keep track of the ball. As soon as I realized this, the ball arched right to me, landing neatly in front of my feet. _Point shoulders towards target, kick with the side of your foot..._ advice from Angela was running through my head as I awkwardly prepared to shoot the ball to…. oh no! The only person from my team that was open was Jose! Not that he was bad, he was one of the best players; the problem was that he had a habit of mocking the girls' kicks and shrieks. Lauren was a particular target, as she had the strange mannerism of screeching before every time she kicked the ball. I could only _imagine _what he would do when I kicked… taking a deep breath, I drew my leg back, and KICKED.

The ball, of course, went in the opposite direction of where I was aiming, making it bounce underneath the fold-out bleachers, and effectively pausing the game. _Well, at least everyone knows not to pass to me, _I thought to myself. This guaranteed my safety for sure; there was no way I would get hit again when nobody passed me the ball.

Completely confident in my relative safety, I got on our team's side of the field and prepared to dodge more kicks; that is, I thought we were starting, but then Coach shouted, "Jose! Arthur! You're on the other team; Alex, you stay there! And let the girls have a chance to play, you've been hogging the ball. You _do _have other teammates!" _Wonderful, now they __would __be aiming for us girls. _Horrible scenarios running through my mind, I got ready once again for the game to restart- and boy, it did.

It was halfway through the second part of the game, my team was down by two, and Jose and Arthur successfully made every shot they attempted. Alex, however, was still our main offensive player, and even jumped in to help Angela ward off Mike when he tried to intercept one of her skillful passes; Mike, on the other hand, was not so skillful. After he turned in my direction, I realized this could only mean one thing: that one of the two, either Jose or Arthur, was behind me with the ball. This would _not _end well, I could already tell. Taking a few steps forward to escape what I was sure was a direct hit aimed for me, I waited for the ball to appear on the other side.

WHAP! _Great, I step FORWARD to escape getting hit, and what happens? I get hit. Edward was right, I AM a danger magnet! I can't even escape from my clumsiness by not playing! Well, at least that's my ball-hits-head episode of the day. I'll be safe from now on... _If only I had known what was still to come, I wouldn't have contemplated my good fortune so soon.

BLEEET!! Coach's whistle squealed, signaling the end of the game. _Thank goodness, _I thought,_ I was beginning to think this game would NEVER end! _My team had barely squeaked by with a lead of 1 point, but I could have cared less about the score; I was just glad the game was over.

"All right, class! Time for today's next game: kickball or dodge ball! Show of hands, who wants kickball?"

Most of the class raised their hands, including me. Kickball wasn't that hard on me; we normally used really soft balls, so even if I _did _get hit, it wouldn't hurt. Well, at least not as much as a forcefully thrown dodge ball. I still had a bit of a lingering headache from the soccer ball, and was looking forward to a nice, relatively safe game of kickball. Plus, when my team was covering the bases, I could always stick around in the outfield. In my experience in PE in Phoenix, the ball very rarely made it there, and so I could mostly avoid serious injury.

The only problem I could see were my shoes- they were about 2 years old, and after hiking around so much outside the school on our "nature walks", they had lost most of the traction on the soles. I knew better than to ask Charlie for a new pair; he was up to his ears in football and filing accident reports from work right about now. He definitely wasn't a shopping person, either. But then again, neither was I. I usually avoided buying new shoes until they were _absolutely _on their last legs, and most often only when they were falling apart. These still were holding up pretty well, so I would just have to stick by my plan and stay in the outfield- avoiding running whenever possible. No "eye-foot" coordination, remember?

As the class quickly split into two teams, I realized that my team was going to get _creamed. _Not only did they have Alex, but Jose and Arthur, too. Angela was on my team, though, as well as most of the other girls. Mike Newton was also on my team, and seemed to think his job was to "protect" me from errant balls flying through the air. Hah, only Edward could do that successfully, and that was only because of his super-human reflexes. He still could not save me from my own clumsiness, only save me from the results. Drifting into thought, I imagined Edward gracefully kicking a soccer ball away from hitting me, or maybe jumping up to catch a kickball as it headed straight for my…well, head.

"Hello? Bella? Are you still there?" Angela was waving her hand in my face gently, a smile playing on her lips. "I was just telling you that you didn't have to worry about being the only clumsy one when it came to kickball-I'm horrible at it, too. But it didn't look like you were worried… What were you thinking about?"

I blushed furiously, mumbling something along the lines of "Well…uh…Edward?"

As I finished, she grinned. "Ok, then you're forgiven! I've been known to daze off when I thought about Ben, too." She smiled as she finished.

"Ok class! Let's play ball!" Coach shouted, successfully bringing us both out of our reveries, and the game began.

(to be cont.)

**PLEASE REVIEW! My goal right now is to reach at least 25 by the end. I know there are at least 111 of you guys out there…(I just think it's so cool that 111 people actually are interested enough to click on my story! :D) There are only about 3-4 chapters left, and I would like to know what you guys think of it so far, any errors, etc.**

**Thanks again for your patience!**


	4. AN: Ike alert

AN ch 4

AN ch 4

Hey all! Sorry this isn't a chapter, but just wanted to let you know that I'll probably be out of commission tomorrow and Friday, so I most likely won't be updating anytime soon. School's already been cancelled for Thursday and Friday due to Hurricane Ike, and there has been a voluntary evacuation called for my area.

So since I'll be likely headed either to Dallas or Austin, I'll probably get a bit more writing done than I usually do during the week, what with traffic and such. So you may have an update when I get back. That is, if I still have a house... (It's my first experience with a hurricane, and they say there's a first time for everything...)

Thank you so much for all the patience! I've been working on two different stories for school assignments lately, and AP English is killing me.. but I know what happens in DM, and "Finals" is coming along slowly but surely.

Question to HP fic readers: Would you read a oneshot of a small Hermione discovering her powers? ...I wrote it originally for children's theatre, and in its current state is picture-book size, but can be expanded easily. (my only hint is that it involves a toothbrush.)

Thanks again, and I'll update as soon as I'm able to! (They are now saying that half of all power poles will be snapped, and transformers will blow.. it doesn't look good, especially with our giant glass picture window in its current uncovered state.) So it may be longer than I had thought before I'm up and running.

Tail writer


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